Re: purity quest

**iamhere4you** Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:51 pm

I did mess up, actually. So this is Day three.
I promised a sisterfriend that I would never do so again.
I hereby promise to all of you and to myself never to do so again.
I just have to remember to pray every time I get an urge, or whatever you call it.

**Gavan Johnson** Fri Jan 23, 2009 9:47 pm

hey david good job man... don't worry this is my third day as well... =).. i am wishing you good luck brother i will be checking in tomorrow night...

**iamhere4you** Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:23 pm

Temptation was strongly of the essence today, but porn, today, I glanced at, not.
This is Day Four.

**Gavan Johnson** Sat Jan 24, 2009 9:08 pm

good job man.. not many chances for temptation today I was really busy... but i did have a really bad dream of a sexual nature which worries me slightly becasue I hardly ever dream... and they are pretty bizarre... but yeah... i made it today... and i am going strong... cyclops

**iamhere4you** Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:16 pm

Remember: it is just a dream. Although it could be interpreted, I suppose, I wouldn't let it bother you too much.

Day 5 was so easy for me, there was no urge, nor any "need".
May the acts halt, and may the gift of night granted by God be presented unto me.
So Day 5 passes by me, with six and seven just ahead, and after the week, to a month, then a year.
It's amazing what one thing can do...

**Gavan Johnson** Sun Jan 25, 2009 10:52 pm

indeed one thing can do a lot... especially if it is for the right cause and reason... Very Happy

hmm well i think satan is trying to get in through my dreams which isn't working but yeah... not really letting it bother me too much... however the dream i had last night was just weird and had to do more with like me being very rageful... to the point where i punched a hole in a wall.. and was cussing my gma out.. =/... so yeah kind fo weird...

GKC Sun Jan 25, 2009 11:13 pm

The subject of this thread reminds me of Augustine's prayer, one of the most famous prayers in all history:

Slightly paraphrased:

"Lord, make me pure...but not yet."

(Of course, that was before his conversion, I should add. :-))

**iamhere4you** Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:35 pm

You know...I have a real issue with breaking these promises. All of you who read this...please pray.
Thing is, it brought me physical pain...literally.
It was as if I was going into withdrawal...
I restart. I'm not a fool, or a 'rebel"...I'm lost in addiction.
I can do this. I know I can. Luckily...some things will happen. Hopefully, right now.
Day 1

**Riley** Wed Jan 28, 2009 8:48 pm

Hmmmm...........seems while I was away I learned a few things.

1) You are never going to beat this by yourself. If you think you can do it, you're going to fail. You have to give it up completely to God.

2) Get an accountability partner, cause it helps so much. Along with that, praying with that partner makes it even better.

I haven't felt so strong in forever, and can't remember the last time I fell to that addiction. It's no longer an addiction to me, God broke those chains. You just have to get into praying everyday, truly praying to God and giving Him your all. Also, reading the Bible also helps you understand so much.

**iamhere4you** Thu Jan 29, 2009 10:11 pm

Accountability partners are a good thing, without a doubt. I can find one...I know it.
I'm doing pretty good. Everything I get tempted, I think of God and His promise to us.
I shall apply more of my faith to my actions.
Once my dysthmia goes away, I can truly do it and fully surrender. My emotions are still a bit screwed up and lost from some event, but in my current bond right now...my emotions are returning quickly.
For now I shall put my all into this, and remember what God has to offer for me. I shall start to read the bible, and fully rededicate my life upon my first week of success, which I pray will be this time.

**iamhere4you** Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:33 pm

Might as well do a status update. i made a mistake the day after. Go figure.
But I've been doing fairly well lately. I've really realized that if I keep myself busy, I don't fall to temptation.
My spiritual life has been crumbling a little.
I'm going to an encounter next weekend, to fix my spirit up. There, all of my problems will be addressed.
Day 2 has passed us.

**iamhere4you** Tue Feb 03, 2009 11:57 pm

Today was easy. I had to work, and work days are pretty easy for me.
Last night I was able to finally completely surrender.
The temptation to go back still exists, but for now, I feel stronger than ever in this.
To imagine that curiosity in the sixth grade and an introduction in the first grade could lead to this...
Anyways, that story will be told after a month.
Day 3 has passed by.

**iamhere4you** Wed Feb 04, 2009 11:12 pm

Very simple today! No temptation at all.
I got an accountability partner today, too, so that will really help me out.
So, Day 4 passes us as thought I wasn't an addict.

**iamhere4you** Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:28 pm

All that I can really say is that I'm not perfect.
Some of us fall easier than others. I was doing so well.
I'll let you know how I do at the next day 5.
Pray...please, if you read this.
This is my toughest battle. I don't even think when I do it it's so bad.
Hopefully, things will get better. No. Things WILL get better.
This time I went 5 days without a mistake. That's longer than I've gone for a very long time. I am improving.
I know that this will be the last time, though. This time, I am more serious than I have ever been. I will explain later.
The beginning is here yet again...

4ever4hi Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:19 pm

hey u guys it;'s me josh david i need my passward can u give it to me.... i need to get on here....

**iamhere4you** Mon Feb 09, 2009 8:24 pm

I don't know your password, nor can I get it. Sorry.

**iamhere4you** Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:39 pm

So, I thought I'd check in.
I'm actually doing very poorly right now.
The spirit of lust still haunts me, though I never think of sex while doing it: I just allow my body to reply.
I now it seems kind of awkward to talk about, but, it's something a lot of people deal with.
Here I am, a renewed person, yet I still possess this flaw.
I try, but I can't seem to control myself: it just seems to happen, like an impulse.
Basically every other aspect of my life is where it should be. I need to start reading my bible more, and sing more songs to Him, though I sing many.
Since I have the admin password to the filter, I can disable it. When my impulses kick in, I'm basically a soulless being: just acting, without thought.
I will have my grandfather (who performed the encounter) change the password to something random, and after I strengthen the filter to where nothing that would bring arousal to me can be viewed, I will no longer be able to look, no matter what I try, and if I mess up, there are instant alerts.
Oh, and status change: single--> not.
My girlfriend is the first on the list of alerts, so that really keeps me stopping...when I'm in my right mind.
She's really forgiving, and I appreciate it so much.
Please, all of you, pray for me.
I'm going to turn 18 in just 8 days and an hour and twenty minutes. I want to be a pure man.

**iamhere4you** Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:12 pm

Well, I've been clean for a week now.
It's basically the easiest thing on Earth for me now.
So, I guess you can say that I'm not an addict anymore. I'll never enter withdrawal. While one week is just seven days, it's still the longest I've ever gone.
I can't turn back now.
Week 1, many more, hereafter, to come.

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