I Guess I Need Some Prayer, Too...

[iamhere4you]

Hey, I suppose I should ask you kind people to pray for me...

I have Major Depressive Disorder, and it's getting worse right now, and I really don't know why.
Sometimes it intensifies when I'm attracted to someone and it seems mutual, which might be why it is: to be complete is my heart's wish. But, yet, thinking of her and being with her makes me happy. So, i guess this isn't why.
I feel lonely and empty, and really sometimes I wonder where everyone went, where my happiness ran off to, and why I am like this.
The voices in my head, now as two, think differently: one tells me one thing but yet the other at the same time tells me another thing.
It kind of seems like this" I I love hate you you a a lot lot.": both 'speaking' at the same time.
I also have another disorder, of which I mention not, at this point, but perhaps that is what's causing it...this pain inside me.
Not even medicine will help me. I'm on medication right now and it's still getting worse.
On top of that, I don't get to see the psychiatrist until the last week of January.
Secondly, my anxiety is worst, and I take medicine for THAT, too. It's an intense pressure in my chest, and it burns and stings simultaneously, and it does spread throughout my body. My anxiety is so bad, in fact, that I have been hospitalized because of it: my blood pressure rose to 179/121 (180 puts me at high risk of having a hemorrhagic stroke, mind you) and my heart rate was 160-170 beats per minute.

I just need prayer right now...
Thanks

[4ever4him]

u know i will pray for u my friend! and i too have a disorder with depression except it is not really diagnosed they said i hadd ADD and then two years latter they blame it on depression but dont give me medication for it..... but i have denied it out loud saying i am no longer depressed, but in truth i am at times and with my love life going the way it is i have my ups and downs alot. and when i go down i go really down. so i know what u mean david. and i will be praying.

[iamhere4you]

Thanks.
When I take my medicine, I don't feel good emotions, either.
To feel or not to feel...which is better?

[4ever4him]

i dont like to fill the emotions eather but filling is better. even if they are harmfull fillings

[iamhere4you]

No, like the medication completely, if not almost, suppresses emotions. I have no felt happy or excited or anything like that for a long time, because of the effects. That is another I need prayer about, too, I guess...

[4ever4him]

that is one of the reasons why i dont like meds they make us fill stuff that we dont want to or vise versa not filling at all.

[Mya09]

I'll be praying