Re: purity quest

[iamhere4you]

Might as well do a status update. i made a mistake the day after. Go figure.
But I've been doing fairly well lately. I've really realized that if I keep myself busy, I don't fall to temptation.
My spiritual life has been crumbling a little.
I'm going to an encounter next weekend, to fix my spirit up. There, all of my problems will be addressed.
Day 2 has passed us.

[iamhere4you]

Today was easy. I had to work, and work days are pretty easy for me.
Last night I was able to finally completely surrender.
The temptation to go back still exists, but for now, I feel stronger than ever in this.
To imagine that curiosity in the sixth grade and an introduction in the first grade could lead to this...
Anyways, that story will be told after a month.
Day 3 has passed by.

[iamhere4you]

Very simple today! No temptation at all.
I got an accountability partner today, too, so that will really help me out.
So, Day 4 passes us as thought I wasn't an addict.

[iamhere4you]

All that I can really say is that I'm not perfect.
Some of us fall easier than others. I was doing so well.
I'll let you know how I do at the next day 5.
Pray...please, if you read this.
This is my toughest battle. I don't even think when I do it it's so bad.
Hopefully, things will get better. No. Things WILL get better.
This time I went 5 days without a mistake. That's longer than I've gone for a very long time. I am improving.
I know that this will be the last time, though. This time, I am more serious than I have ever been. I will explain later.
The beginning is here yet again...

[4ever4hi]

hey u guys it;'s me josh david i need my passward can u give it to me.... i need to get on here....

[iamhere4you]

I don't know your password, nor can I get it. Sorry.

[iamhere4you]

So, I thought I'd check in.
I'm actually doing very poorly right now.
The spirit of lust still haunts me, though I never think of sex while doing it: I just allow my body to reply.
I now it seems kind of awkward to talk about, but, it's something a lot of people deal with.
Here I am, a renewed person, yet I still possess this flaw.
I try, but I can't seem to control myself: it just seems to happen, like an impulse.
Basically every other aspect of my life is where it should be. I need to start reading my bible more, and sing more songs to Him, though I sing many.
Since I have the admin password to the filter, I can disable it. When my impulses kick in, I'm basically a soulless being: just acting, without thought.
I will have my grandfather (who performed the encounter) change the password to something random, and after I strengthen the filter to where nothing that would bring arousal to me can be viewed, I will no longer be able to look, no matter what I try, and if I mess up, there are instant alerts.
Oh, and status change: single--> not.
My girlfriend is the first on the list of alerts, so that really keeps me stopping...when I'm in my right mind.
She's really forgiving, and I appreciate it so much.
Please, all of you, pray for me.
I'm going to turn 18 in just 8 days and an hour and twenty minutes. I want to be a pure man.

[iamhere4you]

Well, I've been clean for a week now.
It's basically the easiest thing on Earth for me now.
So, I guess you can say that I'm not an addict anymore. I'll never enter withdrawal. While one week is just seven days, it's still the longest I've ever gone.
I can't turn back now.
Week 1, many more, hereafter, to come.